I know you don’t have anything better to do this weekend than sit around and watch the hockeymen go a-chasin’ after pucks. That’s why you’re here at TB&theHDzHQ, you lovable loser. But figuring out which game is right for you can be as difficult and fraught with indecision as trying to settle on the right shampoo. So take my advice, guys:
Friday, December 2:
What City That You Don’t Want to Visit Will Have Tonight’s Winning Hockey Team?
Well, I was ready to get wound up if not outright hyper about Ryan “Gold Medal Winner in our Hearts” Miller coming back tonight against the Red Wings. After three weeks spent recovering from an on-the-job accident with his wife by his side, Ryan is ready to return to action. Hopefully he’s ready to have a save percentage higher than .909, too. But, anyhow, it looks like the Sabres are going to see if Ryan’s up to handling the bench door before they let him try and stop pucks, as “My Name Is Jhonas” Enroth will probably get the start tonight.
CALL ME NASTRADUMUS, ‘CUZ THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN, I PROMISE: Ryan Miller won’t play in the game, but will stick around afterwards to tell the media that he thinks his brother, Detroit winger Drew Miller, is “a complete piece of shit” after a controversial nuggie delivered during pre-game warm-ups.
Saturday, December 3:
Which side are you on?
I’m pretty sure Boston won’t have a problem beating Toronto again, but I’m a little curious to see who Don Cherry wants to win. I mean, what’s his suit gonna be like? Black and gold clash with blue and white, but Don’s such a fashion iconoclast, anything is possible.
DARING PREDICTION: Tim Thomas gives up, like, ten goals, proving that, similar to Samson of old, the source of his powers was his mustache.
Sunday, December 4:
I Have to Pick a Game to Talk About.
Fuck. Well, uh, I kind of already wrote a thing about watching a boring game on a Sunday night. So maybe you can read that? But if you really want some hockey to keep you company, I guess you could watch the Minnesota Wild bring their pop-guns to Anaheim and fart around. Plus, Bruce Boudreau’s highly-anticipated “flying-v” play could make its debut tonight!
HEY, WOULDN’T IT BE WEIRD IF: After a team trip to Disneyland, the Wild decide to “loosen up” and not play such tight-ass hockey. There’ll be a fun montage and the guys will try on different outfits, get customized Mouse-Ears, and take turns high-fiving Mickey and the gang.