Sometimes hockey surprises can be unexpectedly good. Like when you’re just standing there, minding your business, and the puck glances off your well-padded leg and makes its way into the goal. ‘Hey, cool, that’s my goal!’ And that kind of stuff happens every day in rinks around the world.
Sometimes hockey surprises are not so good. Like say you get dinged good when you’re not looking and you wake up… well, you don’t know where you woke up. That’s a bad surprise, even if your kidneys are still there.
Every once in a while, though, you get a hockey surprise that’s not quite good and it’s not quite bad. It’s just weird.
Like the Sedins.
I hinted at the freakiness of the Henrik and Daniel during our last podcast, and it came up again during our latest voice-recorder hotstove session, but it was our dear buddy T-Bone who helped to rip the scales right off my eyes when he posted a mega-creepy picture of the boys the other day. Let’s take a moment to look this weird shit square in their eyes.
So, first off: I think we hockey fans have all become a little too used to the fact that there are these two ultra-talented identical twins playing together in the league. Imagine how many non-hockey-watching humans Google ‘swedish twins’ and find out a thing or two about Henrik and Daniel instead of… well, nevermind. There’re kids reading this blog. But we need to at least acknowledge how unique (a much, much more polite word than ‘freaky’ and ‘weird’) this is. I admit that I’m one of the folks who didn’t fully appreciate the hockey double rainbow that appears during each Canucks game. But just think for a second about how other sports would handle this sort of thing:
- Look at the NFL and how much they hype up Eli and Payton Manning. Imagine how apeshit everybody’d go if they gestated together inside of Mama Manning. And then one grew up to be a QB and one went on to become a wide-receiver. And they were both really, really good. And they always played on the same team together. And then they always, you know, had these crazy trick play-lookin’ things. The NFL wouldn’t have to do anything, really. Everybody would just love them, naturally. In fact, I seriously think ‘Merica would hand the keys over to those guys, that’s how much people would love it.
The NBA came kind of close to an event like this back when Horace and Harvey Grant were both rebounding a bunch of balls and putting the occasional one in through the hoop. But as unsung as Horace was, and as cool as their matching goggles were, they never played on the same team nor at the same MVP-caliber level as the Sedins. Our twin-situation is more like if two LeBrons signed with the Heat. And if that happened the Cuyahoga River wouldn’t be the only thing burning in Cleveland…
- And I mean, what if Derek Jeter manned short while his identical twin Erik Jeter played second? Think about how crazy Yankee Stadium would go every time those two turned a double play. And if they hit back-to-back-jacks… Christ almighty. There’d have to be a whole new Ken Burns documentary about them. Just about them.
Love ’em or hate ’em (I know: who’d hate those guys? Some people do, though. It’s like hating a goddamn sundae… I don’t get it.), the Sedins are too interesting an asset to not flaunt off. Can we puh-leez give them a special segment in the skills competition? Like maybe blindfold them on a 2-on-0 and see what happens? I bet they score. Or can the NHL team up with Nova and do an episode about them? I want to see both of them going into a big CATscan machine, watch their brain scans light up when shown pictures of one another, and then listen to neuroscientists make mind-bending analogies to explain what these two are up to.
Embrace the weird, NHL.