Monthly Archives: March 2012

T-bone and the Hockey Doggz No. 10: Triple Dippin’:Playoff Races, Playoff Teams, Playoofz

Has it really been 10 episodes already?

We’re back! With our 10th Anniversary Podcast!!  Just in time to talk about playoff races!

In our special 10th Anniversary episode, T-bone and the Hockey Doggz discuss who we like in said playoff races.  It’s pretty much a who’s who of who we want to win and why.  We also talk about the teams who are doing really well and who is the most formidable adversary come playoff time.  Another one of our awesome brand new segments is revealed as we sit down to listen to “Moonpie’s Fireside Penguins Chat”.  To wrap it all up we have what I believe is the second coming of the much heralded “T-bone and the Hockey Doggz Lightning Round”!!  It’s too good to miss!

We here at T-bone and the Hockey Doggz would like to thank all of our loyal listener[s] for tuning in this regular season for our first 10 episodes.  That being said this is our final regular season podcast.  But don’t worry!  We’ll be here during the playoffs too, using the power of the internet to bring our opinions to your ears all the way up to the Stanley Cup Finalz! Don’t forget to follow us on twitter here and send us an e-mail with your comments here.  Or you can comment right here on this post!  See you in a week or whatever it is!

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San Jose Sharks Should Just Stop Stupidly Jumping the Shark and Start Jostling [for a playoff] Spot

"Yeeeaaaahhh!" That's his catchphrase right?

My track record for analyzing teams correctly and predicting their play isn’t what you would call “great”, “good”, or even “close”.  As the Hockey Doggz and I discussed on last week’s podcast I am 0-for-2, batting a solid .000.  When I put my thought’s on the internet something strange happens.  Not only is what I have written proven wrong almost immediately, but the teams I discuss rip shit up for the next couple of weeks, leaving me feeling very strange and somewhat powerful.

Pretty much like that, yeah.

On February 15th, I said that the Coyotes suck, and play boring hockey.  At that point in the month they were 5-0-1 and after my post they won 6 more in a row.  On January 12th the Pittsburgh Penguins had lost 6 straight games, Kris Letang, and Jordan Staal.  I thought they were gonna blow it, but little did I know Evgeni Malkin would go literally insane on the ice and become the front-runner for the Hart Trophy.  After that post (as much as I hate to say it) he went into “beast-mode” and in the 26 games since, he’s been held pointless in only 5.

There are two conclusions you can come to when presented with these facts:

  1. I’m an idiot
  2. I have super powers

The former may or may not be true, but the latter…Well I have a little experiment to test #2’s credibility and I am going to carry it out right…NOW!

Stinkin’ Sharkies

The San Jose Sharkies started this season with the highest of hopes.  They traded away one of their biggest names in the under-achieving Dany Heatley and one of their up-and-comers in Devin Setoguchi to the Minnesota Wild, getting Marin Havlat and Brent Burns in return.  Adding this kind of depth would bolster their second line scoring as well as their defense in turn making them a better all around squad.

Well, that’s not quite how it’s worked.

Brent Burns has looked pretty good.  He’s not on pace to beat any career highs or anything, but he’s been pretty solid defensively and has been able to light the lamp a few times.  Martin Havlat on the other hand has been a total bust.  The oft-injured right-winger is up to his old tricks of, well…being injured.  He missed the first couple of Sharks games with an upper-body injury and he’s been out for 30-something games because of this:

Seriously Marty?  How long have you been skating?  How long have you been jumping over the boards onto the ice?  Embarrassing.

So the new guys haven’t helped out too much.  But what about the veterans who have gotten the Sharks to the playoffs 12 of the last 13 years?  What about the young guys who have done so well for them over the past few seasons?

Plain and simple, they’re just not getting it done.  Gone it seems are the 60+ point seasons for Patrick Marleau, the 80+ point seasons for Joe Thornton.  Out of all scorers in the NHL, the highest ranked player wearing teal & white is Thornton at #20 with 62 points.  Marleau and Logan Couture are tied for 46th with 53 points.

Maybe it's just his stick. Get this man a new stick!

The Sharks now sit 11th in the Western Conference with 75 points.  They are one point away from a 4-way tie for the 8th spot and could be in sole possession of it with a win tonight over Edmonton.  But that’s only if Colorado loses to the Ducks.  The Sharks have painted themselves into a corner, and I’m not too convinced they can jump the 10ft of painted floor (who paints a floor by the way?) back into the playoffs.

Now, let’s see which of my powers reigns supreme: my Nostradamus-like  powers of prediction, or my power to make the future the opposite of what I write in my undisciplined and inconsistent blog posts.

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Threat Level: Kronwall

Seriously, this could have been in Faces of Death or something. Goddamn! I almost barfed when they showed this shit in slo-mo: Kronwall popping out like a whack-a-mole, Voracek peeping him at the last possible instant, and then #93 hittin’ the ice with his hands in the air like he just don’t care/can’t control his hands anymore.

Believe me when I say that this is rare, but: I feel bad for this Philadelphia Flyer. I don’t mind Voracek much, but something tells me I won’t have to mind him at all for the next year while he recuperates in Bobby Clarke’s sensory-deprivation tank. And talk about ultra-rare (like Mr. Clean with hair) but I agree with the CSN commentators. shudder. There really is no reason to keep playing while a dude’s just down on the ice, spazzing out like that. His fucking brains were probably leaking out his ears. Blow the whistle!

This is why they pay Kronwall the big bucks and why Red Wings games are almost always worth watching. Not that he’s a malicious or dirty player, but I still suspect that Kronwall’s locker has a bunch of photos of his hockey victims with red Sharpie marker ‘X’s’ over their faces. 

And, as Coach Cherry is wont to remind us: keep your heads up, kids!

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T-bone and the Hockey Doggz No. 9: Bubble Teams, Complaint Time, and WWNEAL

In the newest episode of T-bone and the Hockey Doggz’z Podcast we start out first discussing many current issues from across the NHL in our 2nd newest segment called World Wide News and Events from Around the League.  We then get into some real talk about the “playoff bubble teams”.  In a suspenseful moment, Huskey uses his supreme critical thinking skills to change T-bone’s mind about the contentious Winnipeg Jets.  In the closing period TB&HDz unveil our 1st newest segment we call Complaint Time.  Here, we talk about things that we don’t like that are hockey related such as:

  • Phrases like “Playoff Bubble Teams” and “Spin-a-rama”
  • Comments on Zdeno Chara’s “big/huge/long/large reach”
  • Aim for the crest?!
  • Shitty NHL apparel

Finally we end with a special new outro that will knock your skates off. And seriously, if anyone has any solutions on what to do with T-bone’z cats, send us an e-mail.  Hell, send us an e-mail or comment on anything we said!

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It Is The Freaking Weekend

Dwight's got my back!

I thought for a second I ran out of time for this week’s F.W. because I was sewin’ together my Dwight Yoakam back-patch this morning, but then I remembered that I had to go to work. So I could do it then. On the clock!

Read it and weep!

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