Tag Archives: Colorado Avalanche

DON’T BEAT WOMEN! JUST DON’T!

I like to write about hockey.  It’s something I’ve been doing for a few years now and although I’m not a “journalist” or even a “professional” I do my research and try to think of interesting things to write about.  It’s pretty easy to do, really, especially when every night something new and different happens such as Derek Stepan’s hat-trick or Kari Lehtonen’s incredible pad save.  See? Now you’re all like “oh daymn, I missed those things and want to see dem!”

The thing is though, when you write about hockey, you actually writing about people.  Not fake, SkyNet, terminator automatons, Real F-ing People with parents and children and dogs and other stuff too.   Generally, I like to keep my writing to the stuff these people are doing at work.  It’s pretty strange when you think about it, but that’s what they’re doing: working, and working really hard.  I should mention here that I started out blogging about my day at work but for some reason T-bone and the Supervisor Doggz never really caught on.zdenochicken

What the pro athletes in the NHL do outside of hockey I generally don’t know about.  I can guess they work out, watch hockey on television, according to twitter some of them do a lot of hunting during the off-season, Zdeno Chara does stuff like this.  But when things get dark sided, as can happen with pro athletes, it sort of becomes a grey area for someone like me.  Sure, I’ll joke around about how overweight Dustin Byfuglien has been, or the fact that he got arrested for drunk boating.  That kind of stuff is funny, even though he’s a real person and I would never say it to his face because he would literally kick the shit out of me.

Which brings me to my next point.  Last as I’m sure you’ve heard, Colorado Avalanche goaltender Semyon Varlamov  turned himself in on counts of domestic violence and kidnapping.  He apparently was drinking heavily, got in an argument with his girlfriend, pushed her over, kicked the shit out of her, and pulled her around the apartment by her hair.

What the fuck man.  That’s not cool.

I thought for a while about whether or not I should write about this.  I’m no guru, millions of people don’t read what I write, but I still want to make sure I’m not over stepping my boundaries as a severely unprofessional sports blogger.  But I decided to anyway because, that shit’s not cool.

Seriously, what the fuck Varlamov?  You outweigh that MODEL by like 1,000 lbs.  You’re like 10 feet taller than her.  Kicking her in the chest!? That’s some deplorable-ass shit.  Domestic violence causes not only physical harm but mental as well.  Just imagine getting punched by the one you thought you loved.  Wouldn’t that confuse the shit out of you?  Battered women’s shelters and support groups exist because getting slapped around will fuck up your mind.  Domestic violence can lead to substance abuse, depression, and suicide, just listen to 1 episode of Loveline.   Varlamov’s girlfriend says this wasn’t the first time he’s beaten her, but at least she was smart enough to go to the police this time.  Any man who beats his girlfriend/wife/whatever is a Grade-A shit bag.  I hate to say it Semyon, but you now fall into that category.

Sean Burke honing his craft

Sean Burke honing his craft

Now, I don’t want to single out just one goalie because that’s not fair, most notably because a goalie beating his wife isn’t just reserved for drunken Russians.  While playing for the Hurricanes in 1997, former netminder and current Assistant to the General Manager/Goaltending coach Sean Burke was arrested for beatin’ his old lady.  It seemed as though the pressure of having Trevor Kidd fighting for your starting gig was too much for him.  Another goalie who wasn’t able to make a stop on his emotions is…*gasp!* Patrick Roy! T-bone and the Hockey Doggz touched on this on our last podcast but to clarify, it was October 2000 when Roy ripped some doors off their hinges during an argument with his wife.  Roy was able to show some restraint and not punch and/or kick his wife, but he was arrested nonetheless.

So you know, what the fuck Patrick Roy?  When asked why he was starting Varlamov the day after he made bail Roy said, “Why wait?  We’re all aware of what happened, but we just feel that he’s our guy.” What, you guys are brothers in arms now? Patrick Roy has been great for the Avs so far this year.  He’s taken a team that was really really bad last year and turned them into a team that has only lost 1 game in 13 tries.  But “why wait?”?  How about because Varlamov just got out of jail for BEATING HIS WIFE?!  What Roy is saying here is “we know he beat his wife, but we don’t care.”  That is generally the sentiment by teams when one of the people they pay millions of dollars to represent their team commits a crime.  If I committed a crime and made bail and was able to go back to work, I doubt I would get fired as long as it wasn’t a crime related to my job.  But I am not an athlete who gets paid very well to be a public figure and role model.

What the fuck Avalanche? Shouldn’t Varlamov be punished by the team and coaching staff?  At least a little bit?  I suppose at this point it’s not their jurisdiction, but still.  If a guy doesn’t show enough effort on the ice one night, he’s scratched the next.  If a guy beats his wife and goes to jail, he gets to start the next possible game?  That doesn’t make any sense.  At least let the player and the fans of your franchise know that that kind of shit will not stand, man.

Lastly, what the fuck, us?  Shouldn’t we as fans be more outraged about this whole incident?  This professional athlete just beat his wife

Belfour never had $1 billion! Who was he kidding?!

Belfour never had $1 billion! Who was he kidding?!

which will have a lasting effect on her for years to come.  Most of us will probably forget this even happened by the end of the year.  If he had punched a guy at a bar then offered the Dallas police $1 billion after refusing arrest, I’d be fine with it.  But he didn’t, he beat a defenseless woman in their home, a despicable crime of cowardice.  Varlamov even said that if they were in Russia, he would have beat her more.  UGGHHHH!

Well, maybe I shouldn’t be meddling in the personal matters of these people whom I love to watch at work.  Maybe I should only be concerned about what happens the 60 minutes these guys are on the ice.  But if that were the case, I wouldn’t know that Alexei Kovalev is a airplane pilot, or that the Sedin twins love to rollerblade.  I guess I’ll just have to take the good with the bad and let dog sort ’em out.

If you have a different opinion let us know.  Send us an e-mail at tboneandthehockeydoggz@gmail. com, follow us on twitter @tbonehockeydogz, or leave us a comment!

-T-bone

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The Yardstick: Backups Have Been Good, American of the Week

League Leaders

Offense

Goals: Alex Ovechkin – 10

Assists: Henrik Sedin – 12

Points: Sidney Crosby – 17

Goalies

GAA: Josh Harding – 1.00

SV%: Tuuka Rask – .957

Wins: Antii Niemi – 8

Shutouts: Jean-Sebastian Giguere – 2

Other

Players Suspended: 7*

Games Lost Due to Suspension: 33*

(*Pending John Scott’s meeting with the Shanahammer)

Backstrom Harding Backstrom Harding Backstrom Harding

Backstrom Harding Backstrom Harding Backstrom Harding

Dope Things

Backup goalies!

Josh Harding – Harding started the season in Minnesota as a back-up for Niklas Backstrom but became the starter after Backs went down (typical Backstrom) 3 games into the season with a knee strain.  Harding played in 9 games posting a 1.00 GAA and a .953 SV% before going down himself last night with an injury and being replaced by his back-up Backstrom. It’s like a snake eating it’s own tail.

Carter Hutton – Nicknamed “Tiki Hutt” by his teammates, Hutton has been strong in his first season as a first-string back-up for the Nashville Predators.  He’s played in three games, won two of them, has a 1.37 GAA and a .959 SV%.  Hopefully he can keep those numbers up because he’s going to be “in the shit” with Pekka Rinne being injured.

"Well officer, he came at me with a stick and knives on his feet."

“Well officer, he came at me with a stick and knives on his feet.”

J.S. Gigure – Giguere has been excellent.  It’s crazy. 3-0, .981 SV%, 0.67 GAA, 2 shutouts.  It’s probably just another one of his streaks, but keep in mind his greatest streak won him a Conn Smythe trophy in ’03

The Coyotes

Last year I was like, “Sure am glad the Coyotes aren’t in the playoffs”.  This year I’m like “Why are the Coyotes still so good?!”, although I know the answer is 2 words: RIBEIRO BABY!  9 points in 11 games, this guy is partly to blame for the Coyotes best start since the 2000-01 season.

Nope Things

Suspensions

CLEARLY THE NHL’S DISCIPLINARY TACTICS ARE NOT WORKING BECAUSE NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT MISSING 5 GAMES OR LESS.

Public Smack Talking

In one of my favorite stories of the early season, Montreal Canadiens forward Lars Eller called the visiting Edmonton Oilers a “junior team“.  I mean, it’s kind of true but you probably shouldn’t be saying something like that to the media, especially before a game.  So what happened? The Oilers beat the Canadiens 4-3 and Eller was to blame.  Tsk Tsk

American of the Week

NOT Dustin Byfuglien, OR Craig Smith (this week)

Americans had a pretty good week. Phil Kessel had a hat trick, Craig Anderson had a good game, Bobby Ryan is fitting in behind enemy lines .  BUT I’m gonna give American of the Week honors to one of the USA’s up and coming stars: Seth Jones. WHO?!

SETH JONES!

If you wanna e-mail T-bone and the Hockey Doggz please do: tboneandthehockeydoggz@gmail.com

Follow us on twitter: @tbonehockeydogz

Bye Byeeeeeee!

-T-bone

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The Yardstick: Problems With Authority

League Leaders

"If I say I love you, it means I love you, ok?"

“If I say I love you, it means I love you, ok?”
Photo: Getty

Offense

Goals: Thomas Hertl – 7

Assists: Henrik Sedin – 9

Points: Sidney Crosby – 14

Goalies

GAA: Josh Harding – 1.15

Save %: Jonas Hiller – .959

Wins: Marc-Andre Fleury/Antii Niemi – 6

Shutouts: A bunch of guys – 1

So! Huskey and I went to the Pens/Flyers game last night and there’s a few things I’d like to mention about it.  First, the Flyers are in a pretty bad spot and they showed it last night.  They had no business being on the ice with the Pens.  They were able to generate a few chances early but didn’t really get anything going until the end of the 2nd when they scored.  After that it was all Pens.  Second, people haaaaaaaate the refs.  From booing nearly every stoppage in play to the guy sitting in front of us with the #69 “RefUSuck” jersey, the people in Philly have a real problem with authority!

This is worth watching just for the reactions of Mike Haynes, the play-by-play guy in Colorado.

That’s all for now!

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The 2011-2012 NHL Season in Review, or: Things I Remember About Hockey Since October 6th

Drawing this was harder than you would think.

The 2011-2012 NHL season has made it 7/9ths of the way up Mt. Stanley and as you can see from the beautiful hand-made bracket above, only the strong (and the Panthers) have survived.  The playoffs are just around the Tuesday and I, for one, am fucking PUMPED!  But before my mouth starts salivating like Manny Legace’s for hamburgers, I want to take a moment to reflect on the season that was.

Just like every other NHL season, this one had its ups and downs.  The Minnesota Wild were at the top of the league in December boy oh boy did they ever take a tumble.  According to Ryan Lambert of Puck Daddy,

“the Wild won seven of their final 52 games in regulation. Fewer regulation wins than Columbus. That’s a team that was never making the playoffs, right there.”

Yikes!  Can’t say I wasn’t happy when they were doing well, but we all knew that wasn’t gonna last.

Remember when Ryan “The Nuge” Nugent-Hopkins scored his first career NHL goal in his first career NHL game?:

Nikolai Khabibulin at had a save percentage of .964 and a GAA of 0.97 after 10 games, pretty good for an old fart!  Things were looking good for the Oilers in the beginning, but the Bulin Wall and the Oilers didn’t fair quite as well for the remaining 72 games.

It would come to be known as “The Year of the Shanaban”.  With the face of the NHL, Sidney Crosby, out indefinitely, hits to the head would no longer be tolerated, lest ye be trounced with the full force of the Shanahammer.  People who follow the game would learn Brendan Shanahan was tough, but fair (mostly).

This year was especially meaningful for me.  After being abducted early in the 2008 season, I came to in Philadelphia and met up with my old friends the Hockey Doggz to talk about, ya know, hockey.  I wasn’t exactly sure how into the game I could get with such a prolonged absence but I gave it a shot.  I thought to myself, “I don’t know anyone who plays for the Stars or the Avalanche” so I decided to watch this game:

Holy fuck, are you kidding me?!  What a whacky game!  Did you see that Duchene goal to get the hat trick?! Avs scored 2, then Dallas scores 4, Avs come back with 3, they go back an forth, and Dallas wins in OT?! Craziness.

Needless to say I was hooked.  I decided to put down Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace and direct all my attention to the game.  No regrets…sorry Huskey.

Here are some of my other memorable moments from the 1,230 games of 2011-2012 in no particular order:

  • Remember when realignment looked like it was going to be a thing?  We sure do!  But the players were all like, “Umm, nah”.  We’ll have to wait until contract bargaining agreement talks start to fully realize the effect of that snub
  • Lars Eller and Matt Moulson both scored 4 goals in a game and Sam Gagner had 4 goals and 4 assists in one tilt!  That’s pretty spectacular
  • The Crosby roller coaster was a pretty wild ride.  He comes back, gets a bunch of points, gets hurt again, and now he’s back again.  Jeez.
  • Cam Ward got a goal right after we talked about how cool goalie goals were, although his wasn’t that cool.
  • The Detroit Red Wings won 23 STRAIGHT GAMES at home!
  • T-bone and the Hockey Doggz went to the Winter Classic and got exclusive interviews with Mark Recchi AND Pat Sajak
  • The St. Louis Blues were on top of the NHL for a long time, just to have those upstart Vancouver Canucks steal the President’s Trophy right out from under ’em
  • Henrick Lundqvist,  Jonathan Quick, Brian Elliot, and Jaroslav Halak had themselves good seasons.  Not to mention Mike Smith getting the most saves (54) in a shutout EVER
  • Remember that All-Star Game?  Yeah, me either
  • The evolution of Matt Cooke is a pretty good one
  • This was a big story:

This season has been blessed by the Hockey Gods for some and marred with disaster and broken dreams for other.  Soon we will move on and, oh lord, the Stanley Cup Playoffs will be awesome, hallelujah amen!  I can’t wait to watch all of the series’s’es unfold.  Who knows who’s gonna win?!  In a month and a half we could be looking down the barrel of a full-loaded Coyotes/Panthers Stanley Cup shotgun (the lowest scoring, tightest checking shotgun ever).  Whatever the case, the way we got there will have been special, because it never happened before and will never happen again.  Or…?

What were your favorite moments of 2011-2012? Let us know!  Email us here and follow us on twitter @TboneHockeyDogz .  We’ll hopefully be getting another podcast up before the playoffs and maybe even get on to iTunes, once we pull our heads out of our asses.

-T-bone

P.S.

Big ups to A. Rat for not giving me too much shit!

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Quantum Shake

Disclaimer: After a long night of booze and strippers, T-Bone and the Hockey Doggz were unable to post a picture from Friday’s action and say something funny about it.  Without Further adieu:

Joe Sacco evidently thinks the laws of quantum mechanics do not apply to him.  On Friday, after much preparation a research, Sacco decided to test his hypothesis in front of the couple thousand people who turned out for the Blues Avalanche game by shaking a Asian man’s hand through the glass behind the bench.  If he would have been watching the PBS series Fabric of the Cosmos on NOVA he would know that quantum mechanics have never been disproved.  Sorry Joe, maybe next time.

Turns out, glass is a solid.

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