Tag Archives: Evgeni Malkin

San Jose Sharks Should Just Stop Stupidly Jumping the Shark and Start Jostling [for a playoff] Spot

"Yeeeaaaahhh!" That's his catchphrase right?

My track record for analyzing teams correctly and predicting their play isn’t what you would call “great”, “good”, or even “close”.  As the Hockey Doggz and I discussed on last week’s podcast I am 0-for-2, batting a solid .000.  When I put my thought’s on the internet something strange happens.  Not only is what I have written proven wrong almost immediately, but the teams I discuss rip shit up for the next couple of weeks, leaving me feeling very strange and somewhat powerful.

Pretty much like that, yeah.

On February 15th, I said that the Coyotes suck, and play boring hockey.  At that point in the month they were 5-0-1 and after my post they won 6 more in a row.  On January 12th the Pittsburgh Penguins had lost 6 straight games, Kris Letang, and Jordan Staal.  I thought they were gonna blow it, but little did I know Evgeni Malkin would go literally insane on the ice and become the front-runner for the Hart Trophy.  After that post (as much as I hate to say it) he went into “beast-mode” and in the 26 games since, he’s been held pointless in only 5.

There are two conclusions you can come to when presented with these facts:

  1. I’m an idiot
  2. I have super powers

The former may or may not be true, but the latter…Well I have a little experiment to test #2’s credibility and I am going to carry it out right…NOW!

Stinkin’ Sharkies

The San Jose Sharkies started this season with the highest of hopes.  They traded away one of their biggest names in the under-achieving Dany Heatley and one of their up-and-comers in Devin Setoguchi to the Minnesota Wild, getting Marin Havlat and Brent Burns in return.  Adding this kind of depth would bolster their second line scoring as well as their defense in turn making them a better all around squad.

Well, that’s not quite how it’s worked.

Brent Burns has looked pretty good.  He’s not on pace to beat any career highs or anything, but he’s been pretty solid defensively and has been able to light the lamp a few times.  Martin Havlat on the other hand has been a total bust.  The oft-injured right-winger is up to his old tricks of, well…being injured.  He missed the first couple of Sharks games with an upper-body injury and he’s been out for 30-something games because of this:

Seriously Marty?  How long have you been skating?  How long have you been jumping over the boards onto the ice?  Embarrassing.

So the new guys haven’t helped out too much.  But what about the veterans who have gotten the Sharks to the playoffs 12 of the last 13 years?  What about the young guys who have done so well for them over the past few seasons?

Plain and simple, they’re just not getting it done.  Gone it seems are the 60+ point seasons for Patrick Marleau, the 80+ point seasons for Joe Thornton.  Out of all scorers in the NHL, the highest ranked player wearing teal & white is Thornton at #20 with 62 points.  Marleau and Logan Couture are tied for 46th with 53 points.

Maybe it's just his stick. Get this man a new stick!

The Sharks now sit 11th in the Western Conference with 75 points.  They are one point away from a 4-way tie for the 8th spot and could be in sole possession of it with a win tonight over Edmonton.  But that’s only if Colorado loses to the Ducks.  The Sharks have painted themselves into a corner, and I’m not too convinced they can jump the 10ft of painted floor (who paints a floor by the way?) back into the playoffs.

Now, let’s see which of my powers reigns supreme: my Nostradamus-like  powers of prediction, or my power to make the future the opposite of what I write in my undisciplined and inconsistent blog posts.

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T-bone and the Hockey Doggz No. 9: Bubble Teams, Complaint Time, and WWNEAL

In the newest episode of T-bone and the Hockey Doggz’z Podcast we start out first discussing many current issues from across the NHL in our 2nd newest segment called World Wide News and Events from Around the League.  We then get into some real talk about the “playoff bubble teams”.  In a suspenseful moment, Huskey uses his supreme critical thinking skills to change T-bone’s mind about the contentious Winnipeg Jets.  In the closing period TB&HDz unveil our 1st newest segment we call Complaint Time.  Here, we talk about things that we don’t like that are hockey related such as:

  • Phrases like “Playoff Bubble Teams” and “Spin-a-rama”
  • Comments on Zdeno Chara’s “big/huge/long/large reach”
  • Aim for the crest?!
  • Shitty NHL apparel

Finally we end with a special new outro that will knock your skates off. And seriously, if anyone has any solutions on what to do with T-bone’z cats, send us an e-mail.  Hell, send us an e-mail or comment on anything we said!

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Pittsburgh Penguins Pushed Past Playoff Position, Players Pained and Pooped…Concussions

It’s no secret that T-bone and the Hockey Doggz are fans of the Pittsburgh Penguins.  Moonpie is the most outspoken of the bunch, but T-bone and Huskey are also big fans.  It pains me to say this (as someone who doesn’t argue with the facts I have to) but as of right now, they’re toast.

Remember the beginning of the 2011-2012 season when only Sidney Crosby was injured, and he seemed to be getting better?  Jordan Staal was looking good, Evgeni Malkin was flying around the ice, and with last season’s addition of James Neal, the Pen’s looked like they would be back to their 2008-2009 form when they won the Stanley Cup.  Oh those were some good times.  I remember watching the Stars@Penguins game (this was when the Stars weren’t weren’t sucking) on Veteran’s Day and thinking to myself, “Once Crosby’s back, they’ll be unstoppable.”  Marc-Andre Fleury gave up an early goal, but the Pens held the stars to just 20 total shots, Neal scored two, and Matt Cooke got the final tally.  They looked great then, and continued to work through injuries until Crosby came back on November 21st.

Goaltender Marc-Andre Fluery has nightmares every night. This is what he sees.

The Kid scored 12 points in 8 games, then was placed back on the injured reserve and hasn’t played since December 5th.  Things were still looking ok up until about a week ago when the New York Rangers came to Pittsburgh.  After that game, Staal was out 4-6 weeks with a knee injury, Neal had a broken foot and would be out indefinitely (turned out to be just a bruised foot, but he’s probably not playing to 100%) and the Pens were on a three game skid.  A week later they are 0-6 in as many tries, their first 6 game losing streak since Crosby’s rookie year.

It seems like all of their top players are injured and are out or have been injured already this season.  Brooks Orpik (abdominal surgery), Kris Letang (concussion), Ben Lovejoy (broken wrist), Zbynek Michalek (broken finger, concussion), Simone Despres (knee), Jordan Staal (knee), Evgeni Malkin (knee), Dustin Jeffery (ACL), and of course Sidney Crosby (concussion) have all missed time this year.  I look at that list and I think, “What the fuck?!”.

Yeah, just like that!

It’s plain and simple, unless the Penguins get guys like Staal and Letang back soon they won’t earn a spot in the playoffs.  Neal, Malkin, and Fleury are good, real good, but they can’t 6-handedly support the entire team.  The rest of the team was brought there to be complimentary players to guys like Malkin, Staal, and Crosby, but when those guys are out,they’re just a bunch of third line dudes who struggle to score.   I sincerely hope that these injuries go away and that all the Pens come back and play better than they did before they were injured and they make it into the playoffs and win the Stanley Cup and that I win a million dollars and I suddenly gain the power to move things with my mind, but it probably won’t happen.

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T-bone and the Hockey Doggz no. 5 – More Coaches, Team Round-Up, Shootout!!

It’s been a couple-a weeks since our last P-cast but have no fear, this one is here!  Recorded last night, December

  • 22nd, at Casa de Huskey, T-bone, Moonpie, and Huskey talk about the NHL coaching changes and how that’s all worked out, we do a new segment we like to call “Team Round-Up”, and to decide the winner of the podcast there’s a gut-wrenching, awe-inspiring, dipsy-doodle of a holiday-themed shootout.  We hope you all enjoy it and as always, leave us a comment or send us an e-mail, if you can handle it.  I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.  Here!


    If you continue to read, you can vote in our polls!!

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    Buy Sid A Drink- And Get His Dog One, Too!

    Game Photo

    Crosby, seen here recording another goal

    The NHL’s latest experiment was another huge success as Sidney Crosby’s Real Steel-style hockey robot worked like a charm, registering two goals and two assists in his return to the ice following a 10-month absence from the game. The former Hart Trophy winner/crusher of American Gold Medal Dreams had a storybook return, playing nearly 16 minutes of trademark ‘how-the-fuck-did-this-guy-get-so-good-at-hockey’-style hockey.

    The NHL hoped to ease Crosby’s return by arranging a last-minute contest between the Penguins and the AHL’s New York Islanders. The whole squad was clearly excited to meet the hockey superstar, especially contest winner Anders Nilsson, who was allowed to suit up and play goalie against ‘The Kid.’

    “Wow, I mean, that was cool!” Nilsson commented after the game. “I made a couple saves against him later and was all, like, ‘Wait until my friends hear about this!’ Unbelievable.”

    Everyone was a fan of Crosby, both on and off the ice. “Sid was great,” said Isles coach Jack Capuano after the game. “He stuck around, signed some autographs, met all the guys. A real class act. He even gave one of our guys his stick, like as a little souvenir or something.”

    Here’s a real gem for ya’ll, though: Crosby now has as many points as seven of the Islanders’ forwards who have played at least 15 games.

    Private Dancer


    Of course, the Pens were pretty excited to play with the Golden Child, too. The Penguins skated with plenty of tenacity and the team’s power play was certainly clicking. An ‘Embarrassment of Riches’ need not only refer to what happens when Uncle Rick drinks too much anymore, as the Pens boast a forward corps of Crosby, Malkin, Staal, the Ever-Lovin’ Blue-Eyed James Neal, and a solid supporting cast of 20-goal chipper-inners. The defensive unit is toight like a tiger, too, and the return of Zbynek Michalek is only going to make Marc-Andre Fleury’s job easier. Geno, for one, was so excited at the post-game press conference (above) that he just couldn’t hide it.

    Personally, I get a little tired of seeing Crosby as the ‘face of hockey’, and not just because it looks like his lips got stung by some bees. The dude is everywhere, but at least he’s finally back where he belongs: on the ice. And especially with arch-nemesis Ivan Drago Alex Ovechkin scoring as many points as Kyle Wellwood and someone named Craig Smith, the League of Extraordinary Hockey Gentlemen could really use a guy like Crosby to make things a little more interesting. Vegas oddmakers have the over/under on Crosby’s points total this year at 80 and his chances at another MVP at 8-1. Although Crosby and the Penguins will (probably) not be allowed to play every game against the Islanders, one gets the feeling that there are (hopefully) many more performances like this to come.

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