Tag Archives: Montreal Canadiens

The Yardstick: Backups Have Been Good, American of the Week

League Leaders

Offense

Goals: Alex Ovechkin – 10

Assists: Henrik Sedin – 12

Points: Sidney Crosby – 17

Goalies

GAA: Josh Harding – 1.00

SV%: Tuuka Rask – .957

Wins: Antii Niemi – 8

Shutouts: Jean-Sebastian Giguere – 2

Other

Players Suspended: 7*

Games Lost Due to Suspension: 33*

(*Pending John Scott’s meeting with the Shanahammer)

Backstrom Harding Backstrom Harding Backstrom Harding

Backstrom Harding Backstrom Harding Backstrom Harding

Dope Things

Backup goalies!

Josh Harding – Harding started the season in Minnesota as a back-up for Niklas Backstrom but became the starter after Backs went down (typical Backstrom) 3 games into the season with a knee strain.  Harding played in 9 games posting a 1.00 GAA and a .953 SV% before going down himself last night with an injury and being replaced by his back-up Backstrom. It’s like a snake eating it’s own tail.

Carter Hutton – Nicknamed “Tiki Hutt” by his teammates, Hutton has been strong in his first season as a first-string back-up for the Nashville Predators.  He’s played in three games, won two of them, has a 1.37 GAA and a .959 SV%.  Hopefully he can keep those numbers up because he’s going to be “in the shit” with Pekka Rinne being injured.

"Well officer, he came at me with a stick and knives on his feet."

“Well officer, he came at me with a stick and knives on his feet.”

J.S. Gigure – Giguere has been excellent.  It’s crazy. 3-0, .981 SV%, 0.67 GAA, 2 shutouts.  It’s probably just another one of his streaks, but keep in mind his greatest streak won him a Conn Smythe trophy in ’03

The Coyotes

Last year I was like, “Sure am glad the Coyotes aren’t in the playoffs”.  This year I’m like “Why are the Coyotes still so good?!”, although I know the answer is 2 words: RIBEIRO BABY!  9 points in 11 games, this guy is partly to blame for the Coyotes best start since the 2000-01 season.

Nope Things

Suspensions

CLEARLY THE NHL’S DISCIPLINARY TACTICS ARE NOT WORKING BECAUSE NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT MISSING 5 GAMES OR LESS.

Public Smack Talking

In one of my favorite stories of the early season, Montreal Canadiens forward Lars Eller called the visiting Edmonton Oilers a “junior team“.  I mean, it’s kind of true but you probably shouldn’t be saying something like that to the media, especially before a game.  So what happened? The Oilers beat the Canadiens 4-3 and Eller was to blame.  Tsk Tsk

American of the Week

NOT Dustin Byfuglien, OR Craig Smith (this week)

Americans had a pretty good week. Phil Kessel had a hat trick, Craig Anderson had a good game, Bobby Ryan is fitting in behind enemy lines .  BUT I’m gonna give American of the Week honors to one of the USA’s up and coming stars: Seth Jones. WHO?!

SETH JONES!

If you wanna e-mail T-bone and the Hockey Doggz please do: tboneandthehockeydoggz@gmail.com

Follow us on twitter: @tbonehockeydogz

Bye Byeeeeeee!

-T-bone

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T-Bone and the Hockey Doggz Podcast: Blackhawks Are Good, Capitals Are Not, and is Fantasy Hockey Fun?

Jeremy Roenick

Not these Blackhawks

It’s the second episode of the 2013 season!  If/when you listen, you’ll hear terror, happiness, and also a discussion regarding some of these things:

  • The Blackhawks are good, right?
  • Are stats in the shortened season different?
  • The Devils are for real
  • But what about the Canadiens?
  • Washington is bad because Ovechkin is bad
  • An in-depth look at fantasy hockey including a live phone conference with J. Freeze
  • Flyers Suck

As always, if you agree or disagree (and are wrong) with any of the opinions of T-Bone or the Hockey Doggz, let us know!

e-mail us: tboneandthehockeydoggz@gmail.com

follow us on twitter: @TboneHockeyDogz

listen to other episodes of the podcast: you find ’em!

HOCKEY BAY-BEE!!

tboneandthehockeydoggzs2e2

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Holy Shit! The lockout is over!

I dunno if you guys heard the big news but Downton Abbey season 3 started on Sunday!

Wait, that’s not it…the fuckin’ Seahawks won their first playoff road game since 1983!!  Hawk yeah!!

Hang on…OH YEAH! MOST importantly is the FUCKIN’ NHL LOCKOUT IS OVVVVVAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Yeah! That’s right.  That thing that’s made all of your Autumn and all of your Winter, so far, boooorrrrriiiiinnnngggg is totally over.  Now your Winter can get back to it’s mostly-cold-and-shitty-but-also-ok-because-there’s-hockey self!  We here at T-bone and the Hockey Doggz couldn’t be more pumped.  Well, that’s not true because we’ve been pumpin’ all summer.

Pumpin' these

Pumpin’ these

and pumpin' that

and pumpin’ that

So, I’m gonna go out on a limb here because…I feel like it (lockout’s over motha-f’ers, it’s no rules!) and make some early predictions.  Here we go!:

Eastern Conference

Favorites:

Pittsburgh Penguins:  Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin.  Yep, those two dudes still play on the same team.  How could they not be an Eastern fave? Oh yeah, remember Marc-Andre Fleury’s awful performance in the playoffs last year? That’s how.  They did go out and sign Tomas Vokoun (who started for the Washington Capitals last season) as a backup who will lighten Fleury’s load, if all goes according to plan.  If their defense is healthy and their goalie(s) can perform, they can win the Stanley Cup, easy. If not, say hello to another first round dismissal.

New York Rangers: With their big off season acquisition, “Rick Nash” from the “Columbus Blue Jackets”, and their Eastern Conference Final appearance in 2012, the New York Rangers have to feel like momentum is on their side.  And let’s face it Henrik Lundqvist, is great.  But, will Marion Gaborik be healthy enough to play, not to mention contribute?  Will King Henrik continue his dominance? Why can’t they win? The NYR mystery continues.

savant

This guy knew the Devils would make it to the Eastern Conference Final

New Jersey Devils: Last season was an anomaly.  If anyone chose the Devils as the Eastern Conference Champion that person is either a stat sevant or some kind or Nostradamus.  Either way, I like Kovalchuk, Parise is cool, but he’s gone, and Martin Brodeur can totally suck it. I would be perfectly happy if the New Jersey Devils never made the playoffs ever again.

Sleeper Teams:

Carolina Hurricanes: Yeah, that’s right.  Sure, they finished 12th in the East last year, but after their incredibly awful start in 2011-12, but after hiring Kirk Muller they were able to finish .500.  Jeff Skinner and Tim Gleason are young and talented.  They have a Ruutu (not Jarkko but it’ll do) and a set of weird brothers from Thunder Bay, ON named Staal.  And for my money (which adds up to about $500) Christ-lovin’ Cam Ward is the most underrated goalie in the NHL.

Buffalo Sabres: The Sabres are not a bad team.  You might think they strive to be a bad team, signing Ville Leino and keeping Patrick Kaleta around, but they got a raw deal last year.  The whole Lucic-ing threw a monkey wrench into their season which they couldn’t rebound from until March, when they were able to play incredibly good.  They have some proven goal scorers, some good young forwards and defensemen, and of course American Hero Ryan Miller in goal.

Montreal Canadiens: Sure, why not? The only place they have to go from last year is up.  Plekanec is pretty good, although injured, Price is good, and Erik Cole had 35 goals last year.  They’ll be my Eastern Conference long shot.

Western Conference

Favorites:

Los Angeles Kings: During the 2012 playoffs, the Kings were unstoppable, destroying every team on their way to a Stanley Cup victory.  The fact that they have almost 100% roster retention from their Cup run cannot be overlooked.  Anze Kopitar will likely miss the first games of the season, if not more, which could be a huge setback for the team.  Other than that the only question for the Kings is: Will they be able to dominate as hard this year as they did in the playoffs?

Vancouver Canucks: Unlike the Kings, this team has many many question marks for the season ahead.  The biggest one is between the pipes.  Can Cory Schneider be rilly good at goaltending? What’s goin on with Roberto Luongo? The Sedins will be able to score goals because they have magic on their side, but what about the rest of the team? Ryan Kesler is recovering from a full body transplant so he’s can’t score goals.  Their season will be an interesting one.

St. Louis Blues: The Blues under Ken Hitchcock have been pretty good, like 11th in the West to 2nd in the West in 1 year good.  However, we kinda saw them unravel in the playoffs last year.  Granted, one of their goalies got injured and they were facing the best team to ever play in the NHL Playoffs, but still, they could have at least made it close.  I have a feeling Hitch’s sophomore season with the Blues won’t be as much of a breeze as the first.

Sleeper Teams

woman and camaro

Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!!

Anaheim Ducks: For the majority of last season, the Ducks sucked, and royally.  Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry, and Bobby Ryan couldn’t score if they had a Camaro (which is the easiest way to score).  Then, just like in the previous year, they started to get the hang of the whole “Hockey Team” thing and went on a pretty good run, but not good enough.  I think this half-season will benefit this team who only starts paying attention after the All-Star break.

Minnesota Wild: The Wild signed the two biggest free agents of the off season to deals worth a metric tonne of money.  Can I still classify them as a “sleeper”? Sure! This is my blog goddamnit!  Zach Parise and Ryan Suter will have a profound impact on the team and I think if their goaltender(s) can stay healthy and get some secondary scoring from Devin Setoguci, Dany Heatley, and Cal Clutterbuck’s bitchin’ stache, they’ll be at least a 7th seed, if not higher.

Colorado Avalanche:  The Avs are a team with youth and speed on their side.  Going into his second season, Gabriel Landeskog has already been named captain, making him one of the youngest in history.  Other dudes like Ryan O’Reilly, Jamie McGinn, and Matt Duchesne have all proven they can put pucks in the net.  And I dunno if you guys heard, but Semyon Varlamov has been killin’ it in the KHL.

So there we have it, musings of a half-drunk NHL fan who is fuckin’ thrilled the puck will drop this season.  The Blue Jackets could win for all I care! I just can’t wait to see these weirdos with knives on their feet and sticks in their hands rocket pucks at a fat man, just hoping to get it past him.  FUCKING HOCKEY!!

OH YEAH!

Because they're funny! HAIL SMAIL!

Because they’re funny! HAIL SMAIL!

Don’t forget to visit our page on Thursday when we’ll have the Season 2 Premiere of the T-Bone and the Hockey Dogzz PODCAST!!!!!!! Moonpie will be there, Huskey will be there, and me, T-Bone! We’ll discuss things like:

  • How shitty the lock-out was
  • Predictions and prognostications
  • How to get more early 90’s hockey cards
  • How shitty was the lock-out?

We’ll also be holding the first annual T-Bone and the Hockey Doggz Present: Virgin’s Fantasy Hockey Draft !!! It’s gonna be shit-loads of fun!

-T-Bone

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A Freakin’ Weekend to Love Forever

This tape is just Mike Lange calling goals...

If I know that special someone of yours (which I do (don’t ask how (or why))), there’s one thing they’re going to really want for Valentine’s day this year. And that’s seeing you lying on the couch like you’re waiting for Leonardo DiCaprio to come sketch you while watching some rootin’/tootin’ NHL hockey. All weekend long, you should be doing this. For romance’s sake. Get those fires burning and s/he’ll be showering you with kisses quicker than you can say ‘Khabibulin.’ Just make sure to wipe off that Pizza Supreme Dorrito dust from your mouth before they go in for the smooch…

STAGE ONE: 10 February

Dallas Stars, Buffalo Sabres

NO GOAL

I'm not bitter, I'm just... just crestfallen.

First things first: NO GOAL. That goal so did not count. Fuck you Brett Hull. Fucking cheat.

Meanwhile, Dallas and Buffalo are both trying to remain relevant, playoff-wise, in their respective conferences. Dallas will have to try a little less hard than Buffalo in that respect, as the Stars sit a mere two points out of an invitation to get swept by Vancouver in the first round, while Buffalo remains ten points back from those scrappy Maple Leafs. If anyone can do it, though, it’s… man, I can’t really say this in good faith anymore, but, uh, I guess it’ll have to be Ryan Miller. Dammit. Well, on the plus side, the American Hero is 4-0-1 with a 0.95 goals-against average and two shutouts in his last five starts. Which would be great if the season were five games long.

BALLPARK ESTIMATE: With coach Lindy Ruff still watching the game from the press box due to some broken ribs (hockey’s such a Ruff ‘n’ tumble sport, even the coaches get hurt!), the Sabres begin to play a more laid-back, fun-lovin’ style of hockey, cuz when papa’s gone, ain’t nobody around to do the spankin’. Guys are gonna get extreme haircuts, smoke cigarettes in the locker room, maybe even invite a girl over to the First Niagara Center or whatever they call that arena these days. It will be fun, sure, but at what cost? In the end, anticipate these boys to become men, and maybe just learn a thing or two along the way. (2012, rated PG-13, 2/5 stars).

 

STAGE TWO: 11 February

Montreal, Toronto

Well, Scott Gomez scored a goal, so there goes about 80% of the “humor” I had lined up. But why not watch and see if he scores again?

Even though there are better teams playing this Saturday, I’d suggest this game for a couple of reasons. Number one, this is one of the better rivalries in the NHL; number two (haha- made you think ‘number two’), both these teams are vying for a playoff birth; and number three, uh, Don Cherry? What’s on his mind? Find out. Anyhow, Montreal is on a mini-tear of late, which is fitting because they’re kind of mini-team. Toronto, meanwhile, can’t seem to string together a consistent spell of games and look to be trying to get themselves eliminated from the playoffs somewhere around game 79. No matter what, though, this could be the match that determines if Mike Komisarek picked the right team to sign with a couple of years ago.

EDUCATED GUESS: Prior to the start of the game, the Montreal media will reveal that Maple Leaf’s goaltender Jonas “the Monster” Gustavsson earned his nickname not from his large, intimidating physical carriage, but, instead, from his years as a serial killer. I know, I know: Montreal typical.

Seriously, though: what if Gustavsson had this on his mask?

Says the report (from the future):

Gustavsson had a difficult and cruel childhood plagued by abuse and drug use in Sweden. He became a prostitute by the age of thirteen, the same year he became a goalie. He eventually moved to Florida where he began earning a living as a highway prostitute–servicing the desires of semi-truck drivers. In a nine month period between 1989 and 1990, during which Gustavsson had a lesbian relationship with a woman named Selby, he also began murdering his clientele in order to get money without using sex. This turned the tables on a rather common phenomena of goalie highway prostitutes being the victims of serial killers–instead the Monster, himself, carried out the deeds of a cold-blooded killer.

Apparently Charlize Theron played him in some sort of film adaptation.

CULMINATING EVENT (PROJECT MAYHEM): 12 February

Philadelphia Flyers, Detroit Red Wings

Love is in the air in Detroit.

Now, honestly, I’ll probably be watching the Capitals and the Rangers this Sunday because that game will be broadcast live on my television/vcr/dvd combo. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out and contact your cable or satellite provider and make sure that you have NBC Sports Network so that you can watch this doozy. That’s right, the Red Wings won’t have Darren McCarty to bail them out of this one (or Garth Snow in goal, for that matter), because this ain’t your granddad’s Detroit squad. Well, some of them are. But gramps never heard of Darren Helm, I bet. These teams are actually kind of similarly built: three solid, skilled forward units (sprinkled with some insane, legendary talent), stodgy and effective defense, and, with Jimmy Howard out, some goalies that might be out-dueled by a roughly-human-sized inanimate object of your choosing. The east/west showdowns are usually pretty wide open (since you don’t really care about giving up a point to somebody not in your conference), so get ready for some one to get Kronwalled, Zolnierczyk’d, or, god forbid, Abdelkadered.

SHOT IN THE DARK: Detroit has only lost two games at home this year (no joke!), so Philly’s gonna have to pull out all the stops to win this one. Their best bet is to hope that a Red Wings player’s undiagnosed heart murmur flairs up in the middle of play, causing the game to be postponed and, hopefully, rescheduled at some other site.

Hey that’s not a prediction at all, just a tasteless Jiri Fischer joke!

You’re in Huskey’s Corner- my corner, my rules!

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T-bone and the Hockey Doggz no. 7: Beautiful Buttons, Disappointments, and the Dark Lord

Huskey's Urban Cabin.

Recorded yesterday at Huskey’s bachelor pad in front of a live studio audience, in this the 7th installment of the T-bone and the Hockey Doggz podcast, T-bone and the Hockey Doggz discuss what’s been on their mind since that fateful encounter with Pat Sajak at the 2012 Winter Classic.  Primarily, we discuss our beautiful, hand-made, game-worn buttons (see picture below), teams that have ‘come back to earth’, our mid-season disappointments, what we think of the NHL All-Star Game, and finally we take some calls from a few of our loyal listeners.  We hope you guys enjoy or really hate our opinions, either way feel free to comment or send uh e-mail!

Continue reading

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The Sniffing Referee

Erik: Anyway, so then this guy comes up to me and starts feeling my jacket through his thumb and his forefinger like this.

P.K.: So, what did you do?

Erik: I said: “So, what do you think?”. And he said, “Polyester?”. And I said, “Yeah.” That was it.

Carey: Wow, just felt your material?

Erik: Yeah…Steve Kozari.

P.K.: Sounds like a cool guy.

Carey: Sounds like a jerk. Felt your material, come on.

Cunneyworth:Who goes around feeling people's material? What can be gained feeling a person's material? It's insanity!

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Oh, Quebec

These guys thought about this sign, and this was the best they came up with.  After Erik Cole scored a goal in Montreal last night they unveiled their masterpiece.  Signs, in general, are pretty lame unless they can manage to say something witty and timely in the limited amount of space, case in point*.  This sign is neither of those things.  Much to the dismay of these dorks, the Habs didn’t find ‘Success’ and became the 7th team in a row to lose to the Flyers.  Why not just stick to “[other team] SUCKS!!”?

The whole sign read “Successfully Scoring a Goal is What Makes Us (the Fans) Really Happy! Good Job Canadiens!” Getty Images

 

*”Kenzo” is a term used to describe the super trashy† people who live in the neighborhood of Kensington, Philadelphia, PA.

†think of the trashiest person you’ve ever met, and multiply it by 100

 

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Spacek Smash!

 

To the normal NHL’er, a Carolina Hurricanes jersey makes you lazy, slow, and sloppy.  No matter how soft your hands were, how hard your shot was, or fast you could skate, once you put on the red, white, and black, whatever that thing is on the front of the jersey rots you to the core.  Exception: Jaroslav Spacek!  After a trade yesterday brought Spacek to Carolina and sent Tomás Kaberle to Montreal, Spacek had a strong showing in the ‘Canes away white.  With assists on both of Carolina’s goals, he nearly doubled his point total on the season.  The logo on the front is the yellow sun to Spacek’s inner Clark Kent, so much so that as we see in yesterday’s #1 pic, he is developing the new finishing move he plans to use on his enemies.  Witness the ‘Spacek Smash!’  Hurricanes still lost (duh, he’s not actually Superman) to the Jets 4-2.

RAAAWWRR!

 

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