Tag Archives: new york rangers

Holy Shit! The lockout is over!

I dunno if you guys heard the big news but Downton Abbey season 3 started on Sunday!

Wait, that’s not it…the fuckin’ Seahawks won their first playoff road game since 1983!!  Hawk yeah!!

Hang on…OH YEAH! MOST importantly is the FUCKIN’ NHL LOCKOUT IS OVVVVVAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Yeah! That’s right.  That thing that’s made all of your Autumn and all of your Winter, so far, boooorrrrriiiiinnnngggg is totally over.  Now your Winter can get back to it’s mostly-cold-and-shitty-but-also-ok-because-there’s-hockey self!  We here at T-bone and the Hockey Doggz couldn’t be more pumped.  Well, that’s not true because we’ve been pumpin’ all summer.

Pumpin' these

Pumpin’ these

and pumpin' that

and pumpin’ that

So, I’m gonna go out on a limb here because…I feel like it (lockout’s over motha-f’ers, it’s no rules!) and make some early predictions.  Here we go!:

Eastern Conference

Favorites:

Pittsburgh Penguins:  Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin.  Yep, those two dudes still play on the same team.  How could they not be an Eastern fave? Oh yeah, remember Marc-Andre Fleury’s awful performance in the playoffs last year? That’s how.  They did go out and sign Tomas Vokoun (who started for the Washington Capitals last season) as a backup who will lighten Fleury’s load, if all goes according to plan.  If their defense is healthy and their goalie(s) can perform, they can win the Stanley Cup, easy. If not, say hello to another first round dismissal.

New York Rangers: With their big off season acquisition, “Rick Nash” from the “Columbus Blue Jackets”, and their Eastern Conference Final appearance in 2012, the New York Rangers have to feel like momentum is on their side.  And let’s face it Henrik Lundqvist, is great.  But, will Marion Gaborik be healthy enough to play, not to mention contribute?  Will King Henrik continue his dominance? Why can’t they win? The NYR mystery continues.

savant

This guy knew the Devils would make it to the Eastern Conference Final

New Jersey Devils: Last season was an anomaly.  If anyone chose the Devils as the Eastern Conference Champion that person is either a stat sevant or some kind or Nostradamus.  Either way, I like Kovalchuk, Parise is cool, but he’s gone, and Martin Brodeur can totally suck it. I would be perfectly happy if the New Jersey Devils never made the playoffs ever again.

Sleeper Teams:

Carolina Hurricanes: Yeah, that’s right.  Sure, they finished 12th in the East last year, but after their incredibly awful start in 2011-12, but after hiring Kirk Muller they were able to finish .500.  Jeff Skinner and Tim Gleason are young and talented.  They have a Ruutu (not Jarkko but it’ll do) and a set of weird brothers from Thunder Bay, ON named Staal.  And for my money (which adds up to about $500) Christ-lovin’ Cam Ward is the most underrated goalie in the NHL.

Buffalo Sabres: The Sabres are not a bad team.  You might think they strive to be a bad team, signing Ville Leino and keeping Patrick Kaleta around, but they got a raw deal last year.  The whole Lucic-ing threw a monkey wrench into their season which they couldn’t rebound from until March, when they were able to play incredibly good.  They have some proven goal scorers, some good young forwards and defensemen, and of course American Hero Ryan Miller in goal.

Montreal Canadiens: Sure, why not? The only place they have to go from last year is up.  Plekanec is pretty good, although injured, Price is good, and Erik Cole had 35 goals last year.  They’ll be my Eastern Conference long shot.

Western Conference

Favorites:

Los Angeles Kings: During the 2012 playoffs, the Kings were unstoppable, destroying every team on their way to a Stanley Cup victory.  The fact that they have almost 100% roster retention from their Cup run cannot be overlooked.  Anze Kopitar will likely miss the first games of the season, if not more, which could be a huge setback for the team.  Other than that the only question for the Kings is: Will they be able to dominate as hard this year as they did in the playoffs?

Vancouver Canucks: Unlike the Kings, this team has many many question marks for the season ahead.  The biggest one is between the pipes.  Can Cory Schneider be rilly good at goaltending? What’s goin on with Roberto Luongo? The Sedins will be able to score goals because they have magic on their side, but what about the rest of the team? Ryan Kesler is recovering from a full body transplant so he’s can’t score goals.  Their season will be an interesting one.

St. Louis Blues: The Blues under Ken Hitchcock have been pretty good, like 11th in the West to 2nd in the West in 1 year good.  However, we kinda saw them unravel in the playoffs last year.  Granted, one of their goalies got injured and they were facing the best team to ever play in the NHL Playoffs, but still, they could have at least made it close.  I have a feeling Hitch’s sophomore season with the Blues won’t be as much of a breeze as the first.

Sleeper Teams

woman and camaro

Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!!

Anaheim Ducks: For the majority of last season, the Ducks sucked, and royally.  Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry, and Bobby Ryan couldn’t score if they had a Camaro (which is the easiest way to score).  Then, just like in the previous year, they started to get the hang of the whole “Hockey Team” thing and went on a pretty good run, but not good enough.  I think this half-season will benefit this team who only starts paying attention after the All-Star break.

Minnesota Wild: The Wild signed the two biggest free agents of the off season to deals worth a metric tonne of money.  Can I still classify them as a “sleeper”? Sure! This is my blog goddamnit!  Zach Parise and Ryan Suter will have a profound impact on the team and I think if their goaltender(s) can stay healthy and get some secondary scoring from Devin Setoguci, Dany Heatley, and Cal Clutterbuck’s bitchin’ stache, they’ll be at least a 7th seed, if not higher.

Colorado Avalanche:  The Avs are a team with youth and speed on their side.  Going into his second season, Gabriel Landeskog has already been named captain, making him one of the youngest in history.  Other dudes like Ryan O’Reilly, Jamie McGinn, and Matt Duchesne have all proven they can put pucks in the net.  And I dunno if you guys heard, but Semyon Varlamov has been killin’ it in the KHL.

So there we have it, musings of a half-drunk NHL fan who is fuckin’ thrilled the puck will drop this season.  The Blue Jackets could win for all I care! I just can’t wait to see these weirdos with knives on their feet and sticks in their hands rocket pucks at a fat man, just hoping to get it past him.  FUCKING HOCKEY!!

OH YEAH!

Because they're funny! HAIL SMAIL!

Because they’re funny! HAIL SMAIL!

Don’t forget to visit our page on Thursday when we’ll have the Season 2 Premiere of the T-Bone and the Hockey Dogzz PODCAST!!!!!!! Moonpie will be there, Huskey will be there, and me, T-Bone! We’ll discuss things like:

  • How shitty the lock-out was
  • Predictions and prognostications
  • How to get more early 90’s hockey cards
  • How shitty was the lock-out?

We’ll also be holding the first annual T-Bone and the Hockey Doggz Present: Virgin’s Fantasy Hockey Draft !!! It’s gonna be shit-loads of fun!

-T-Bone

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Country Music, The Blues, and Philly Soul Out, Rock-n-Roll In: NHL Playoffs Week 4

It’s the one month anniversary of the NHL Playoffs! Did you guys get them a present?  We here at T-bone and the Hockey Doggz forgot.  That is until around 11:00pm last night.  Like it or not, playoffs, this is what you get.  We lost the receipt so no whining.

Uhhmm, ‘the hell?!

What’s happened in the last week? Well, all but one series of the second round are donzos. In the battle of the hockey belt, the Phoenix Coyotes move on to the conference finals for the first time in the team’s history.  They also might not actually be moving away from Phoenix, so that’s cool.  The stories of this series were a mediocre goalie-turned-28-save-3rd-star-of-the-game as well as two Eastern Europeans who stayed out past bedtime.  Sitting the two wild and crazy guys in game three of the series was an iffy call, it is the Stanley Cup after all.  Sitting out your two best offensive players in game four and losing 1-0, what are you thinkin’?!  C’mon Barry Trotz, don’t you know that a coyote is a scavenger that can pick the bones of mortally wounded predator?  Either way, people with haircuts like these aren’t allowed to cheer a team in the conference finals. NHL awards show in Vegas, maybe.  But not the conference finals.  Hopefully their opponent in the next series is a more exciting adversary.  Oh yeah, it will be, the Blues are out.

Andy, these aren’t even food.

The St. Blues really “Blue’d it” but were hampered by a serious case of bad “Ha-luck”.  Their “star” players were not able to compete at the same level as the star players of the L.A. Kings.  If you look beyond this series on the ice, it’s plain to see that St. Louis was doomed from the get-go.  In goal, Brian Elliot “Too Many Goals In” was forced to battle with off-season Tombstone, AZ reenactor Jonathan Quick.   Andy McDonald was held to just 1 goal and 1 assist after posting 8 points in 5 games versus the Sharks.  That’s like bringing home a 6-piece McNugget to hungry family.  You’ve got to provide, man!  Aside from the hit on Dustin Penner in game 2, T.J. Oshie was a Noshie.  That’s short for No Show.  The experienced veterans on the team were a Langenbummer and were left asking, “Why Arnott we scoring more goals?”. Who told number 42 to leave his A-game backes in the regular season?  Even defensemen like Barrett Jackman got jacked, man by Ponch and John Alec Martinez and Willie Mitchell.  Plus a shattened kirk and a hitched cock sound like career ending injuries.  On the other bench, the Kings have guys with less provocative, subconsciously detrimental names like Carter, Richards, and (no shit) King.  Even a name like Kopitar make you think of a guitar, which really flows with the whole California vibe.  Bottom line: L.A was rock-n-roll and St. Louis was the blues.   The Kings totally ruled and did whatever they felt like while the Blues put a lot of heart into it but were ultimately sad and lethargic.  It’s a real no-brainer.

On the other coast, no one cares about your name.  Over there it’s all rush rush, hurry hurry and everyone just wants to get on with their business.  Case in point, the New Jersey Devils.  We can go on and on about former guest of the TB&HDz podcast the Dark Lord and his reigning power over a mere Flyer (by the way, what’s a Flyer?  A pilot?  A businessman?  Anyone with credit good enough to earn miles?), but we’re going to stick to the facts here.  A Flyer is definitely a person who loses to the Devils in five.  The evil Philadelphia Flyers losing,

The best player in the world.

Peter Laviolette, Flyers Coach

Dirt Claude Giroux to a suspension before the most important game in their season was bad but, franchise goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov scoring the game-winning goal for the opponent was worse:

At least they only have this guy for 9 more years.

Awesome!

-T-Bone and the Hockey Doggz

Not everything on the east coast is efficient and faced paced though.  That’s right, we’re talking about those bozos in Washington.  After taking 7 games to methodically eliminate the the Bruin problem in the NHL, they have now moved the focus of their austerity measures to include the Rangers themselves.  “If we have no bears,” said Capitals General Manager George McPhee, “I don’t see the need for having Rangers.” The Capitals have had a chance to win the first five games, they’ve only won two.  It’s tight, defensive hockey, but Brad Richards is really good.  So is Henrik Lundqvist.  Tonight’s game will either see the New York Rangers move on or those bureaucrats in Washington will drag this series out to 7 games.  Which team will be the one to run with the devil[s]?

Don’t forget to leave us a comment!  You can e-mail us at tboneandthehockeydoggz@gmail.com .  Don’t forget to follow us on twitter @tbonehockeydogz for live tweets of games, sometimes.  Our end-of-the-second-round-podcast is coming up soon!  You can subscribe to that on iTunes riiiiiggghhhhht hhheeerrrreee.

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T-bone and the Hockey Doggz No. 12: First Round Reflections and Second Round Inspections

The completed first round bracket from T-bone and the Hockey Doggz

The end of the first round of the NHL Playoffs is behind us.  Hell, the start of the second round is back there too.  But T-bone and the Hockey Doggz don’t care.  We can still talk about it, right?!  Bloody well right!

We did just that last night!  And here are just a few of the things we touched on:

  • Racism (we’re against it)
  • Biggest first round surprises
  • First round suspensions
  • Second round thoughts
  • Exclusive: T-bone and the Hockey Doggz’z live reaction to this save by Jonathan Quick:

  • Have the St. Louis Blues “Blue’d it” already?

 

A couple of things to note:

  1. We hate the Philadelphia Flyers
  2. Moonpie does not express the unanimous consent of the Hockey Doggz as a whole

Here it it guys, in it’s dirty dozen glory. Enjoy!

 

Keep in mind friendz, you should leave us a comment.  OR you can send us an e-mail at tboneandthehockeydoggz@gmail.com if you don’t want anyone else to read it.  But we will definitely publish any e-mails in our next post (sorry).  AND you can follow us on twitter @tbonehockeydoggz.  AND you can subscribe to this delectable podcast on iTunes here.  AND we love you.

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T-bone and the Hockey Doggz No. 10: Triple Dippin’:Playoff Races, Playoff Teams, Playoofz

Has it really been 10 episodes already?

We’re back! With our 10th Anniversary Podcast!!  Just in time to talk about playoff races!

In our special 10th Anniversary episode, T-bone and the Hockey Doggz discuss who we like in said playoff races.  It’s pretty much a who’s who of who we want to win and why.  We also talk about the teams who are doing really well and who is the most formidable adversary come playoff time.  Another one of our awesome brand new segments is revealed as we sit down to listen to “Moonpie’s Fireside Penguins Chat”.  To wrap it all up we have what I believe is the second coming of the much heralded “T-bone and the Hockey Doggz Lightning Round”!!  It’s too good to miss!

We here at T-bone and the Hockey Doggz would like to thank all of our loyal listener[s] for tuning in this regular season for our first 10 episodes.  That being said this is our final regular season podcast.  But don’t worry!  We’ll be here during the playoffs too, using the power of the internet to bring our opinions to your ears all the way up to the Stanley Cup Finalz! Don’t forget to follow us on twitter here and send us an e-mail with your comments here.  Or you can comment right here on this post!  See you in a week or whatever it is!

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It Is The Freaking Weekend

Dwight's got my back!

I thought for a second I ran out of time for this week’s F.W. because I was sewin’ together my Dwight Yoakam back-patch this morning, but then I remembered that I had to go to work. So I could do it then. On the clock!

Read it and weep!

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Freakin’ Weekend: Redux

Must be the weekend...

Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend. Except some hockey players, who are workin’ on the weekend. Now I ‘get’ why they earn millions of dollars every year! Come, follow me- I can lead you through ‘the zone’… Continue reading

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When Was the Last Time We Talked About the Blue Jackets?

'Why doesn't Scott call me back!?'

Well, every hockey-lovin’ butt in the universe is scuttling lately with the trade deadline approaching. We hockey doggz (and our pal T-Bone) spoke about this subject a bit in our last podcast, particularly about how slow the upcoming deadline day was shaping up to be. Then. BAM! Dominic Moore gets traded for the 14th time in three-and-a-half years.

Excitement!

Really, though, most of the big deals keeping GMs close to their Dreamphones involve the Columbus Blue Jackets franchise. And who wouldn’t want a player or two from that bunch? Let’s take a look at just what dudes the Mistake Near the Lake might be sending off to your favorite team! Continue reading

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This Freakin’ Week Went By SO Fast…

Let's get ready to rumble!

And Ka-Blam, it’s freakin’ weekend time all over again, you ever-lovin’ blue-eyed things. There’re some impressive hockey bouts scheduled for the next 72 hours, so make sure and stock up on microwave burritos, Mountain Dew, and microwave burritos and brace for the best/worst. Continue reading

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Freakin’ Weekend, It’s The

daaaaaamn

This is the same face she makes when watching hockey

Feeling that post-holiday ‘pinch’, both as your pants feel tighter and those credit card bills come rolling in? Take solace in the fact that hockey is there for you, ever ready to assuage all your worries, solve all of your problems, and alienate you from most of mainstream society (which got you into this ‘pinch’ mess in the first place). Put your driver’s license in your shoe, cuz who knows where you’re gonna wake up after this freakin’ weekend… Continue reading

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Notes From the Underground

aw, yeah!

TB&theHDz's BFFF (The extra 'F' Stands for 'FFHF')

Dear T-Bone, Huskey, and Moonpie (the Hockey Doggz),

I must reiterate that I do not endorse your website and ask that you refrain from mentioning me by name on your blog.

Legally,

Pat Sajak

Written as dictated

Well, it’s over. All over. But it wasn’t all celebrity endorsements (like the one above) and poor waiter-ing. There was the actual game, which ya’ll are probably getting tired of hearing about. But you probably aren’t tired of hearing me talk about it, right? So what was up with Continue reading

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