Tag Archives: Niklas Kronwall

Threat Level: Kronwall

Seriously, this could have been in Faces of Death or something. Goddamn! I almost barfed when they showed this shit in slo-mo: Kronwall popping out like a whack-a-mole, Voracek peeping him at the last possible instant, and then #93 hittin’ the ice with his hands in the air like he just don’t care/can’t control his hands anymore.

Believe me when I say that this is rare, but: I feel bad for this Philadelphia Flyer. I don’t mind Voracek much, but something tells me I won’t have to mind him at all for the next year while he recuperates in Bobby Clarke’s sensory-deprivation tank. And talk about ultra-rare (like Mr. Clean with hair) but I agree with the CSN commentators. shudder. There really is no reason to keep playing while a dude’s just down on the ice, spazzing out like that. His fucking brains were probably leaking out his ears. Blow the whistle!

This is why they pay Kronwall the big bucks and why Red Wings games are almost always worth watching. Not that he’s a malicious or dirty player, but I still suspect that Kronwall’s locker has a bunch of photos of his hockey victims with red Sharpie marker ‘X’s’ over their faces. 

And, as Coach Cherry is wont to remind us: keep your heads up, kids!

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