Tag Archives: Shootout

The Flyers Suck and the Trapezoid is Stupid

Hey! It’s been less than a week since the NHL season started! Let’s talk about it!

OWCHIES!

OWCHIES!

The first big thing that happened re-sparked a debate that’s been going on for longer than I’ve been around.  On opening night, “The Mustachioed Cat” George Parros fell on his face during a fight against Toronto’s Colton Orr, leaving the ice with a concussion.  So, should we take fighting out of hockey? To that I will only say this: Nope, it has an unquantifiable effect on the momentum of a game and anyone who has witnessed this in action would want to fight anyone who wants to take fighting out of the game.  THAT’S IT!

Going from stale to fresh, the second winningest American coach of all time Peter Laviolette, was fired by the Phiadelphia Flyers.  He was the second victim of circumstance in the Philadelphia sports world (we’ll miss you Charlie!) in a matter of months.  Much like the beloved Philadelphia Phillies, Laviolette’s team was bad due to more than one folly of GM-itude.  Since he’s been around since ’09, he had to take the heat for it.  The good thing about it though is that the Flyers are now 0-3-0, starting a whole new system with a rookie coach, they have a terrible defense and an even worse goaltending tandem.  They’re going to suck!  And that makes us here at T-bone and the Hockey Doggz pret-tay pret-tay happy.  Flyers Suck!

Finally: a rant.

I could use more of this.

I could use more of this.

Hey! You know what I’m sick of? Well I’ll tell you.  I’m sick of people talkin’ shit about the shootout.  You know what else I’m sick of?!  PEOPLE NOT TALKING SHIT ABOUT THE TRAPEZOID! Since the last lock out, it has been deemed that a hockey game needs a winner, and quickly! No more ties, dammit, we wanna see some fancy stick work and there’s no better way to see that than a shootout.  So along the same vein, why don’t we want to see fancy stick work from a goalie?! There’s no valid reason a goalie shouldn’t be able to handle the puck.  “Because he’s too good at it” is not a reason.  Stick-handling to a goalie is an added skill, one that all goalies have the option to work on.  Everyone knows that Martin Brodeur is one of the best stick handling goalies of all time.  Who else is there right now? Mike Smith? Brodeur is on his way out.  After he’s gone, will we see another great puck moving netminder?   I know I would like to, but with the trapezoid, there’s no real reason for a goalie to polish his stick skills, and I hate that.

GET RID OF THE TRAPEZOID!!!

So, everyone, it’s a new NHL season and a new season for T-bone and the Hockey Doggz.  Get ready for a new podcast coming up in the next week or so wherein we will have some new awesome segments involving 2 cases (yeah around 500 cards) of ’91-’92 NHL Pro Set Series II hockey cards.  There’s also going to be more smart, funny, provocative insight from me T-bone.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Red Wings Succumb to Curse of Kyle Quincy, Lose at Home

As you all know by now, the Red Wings of Detroit have not lost a home hockey game since the Bush administration. The first one. H.W. Like, 769 straight games in Detroit- all wins. On the road, they’re something like a .500 team. But when outsiders show up to the Joe Lewis Arena, well, a different team shows up. Maybe it’s the motivational intermission speeches from Clint Eastwood, or Robocop making an appearance in the visitor’s locker room to ‘level the playing [ice]’, or perhaps it’s some other joke about Detroit that I can’t think of right now. No matter what, though, the Red Wings were unbeatable at home. But apparently the Vancouver Canucks don’t know the meaning of ‘unbeatable’ (well, after last year’s Cup finals, I’d say they might not grasp the whole ‘unbeatable’ thing…), because they showed up in Mo-Town and rudely won the hockey game- and right when they were a mere pussy hair away from losing!

Technicality

Now, it’s worth pointing out that the Nuck-Nucks won on what some would deem a ‘technicality’- a shootout. I agree, but my definition of ‘technicality’ can mean ‘awesome’, ‘cool’, or ‘fun to watch’. You’ve never heard it used that way before? Hm. This technicality had a little bit of everything. Case in point: how about Todd ‘Two-Million-Dollars-Per-Year’ Bertuzzi skating about .75 MPH towards the guy the Canucks traded him for? In case you never, ever see it, all’s I can say is, Bertuzzi just skated really slowly towards the net and then shot the puck at Robert O. Luongo’s leg. It was like he hears his mom yealling ‘c’mon Todd! We have to go! Now! Grandma’s waiting in the car, let’s go!’ and he’s just being a pill, skating all slow like that. Just fucking milking it. Then, the flip side of that, we had Alex Burrows, who used a less lethargic technique to achieve outstanding excellence in the category of hockey victories. While there was nothing unusual about Burrows’ move or anything, his celebration was noteworthy. Since this was special, what with that streak and all, the third Sedin tried to emphatically snap his stick over his thigh in celebration a la Bo Jackson. Which, I admit, was pretty clever, given he just singlehandedly snapped the Red Wings’ home winning streak. But he failed to break it, which was kind of funny. Especially since he was still pretty intense-looking and screaming.

Well, point is, is: this is the closest we get to playoff intensity until, uh, the playoffs. Duh! It’s called foreplay and it’s an important element in any season. Red Wings net minder Jimmy Howard was minding the hell out of that net, while his counterpart was also a pretty savvy dude when it came to using his body to keep the rubber discs outside of his own, personal special area.  Detroit’s third line were on their collective grind, providing all the offensive output, while ‘Dirty’ Daniel Sedin had a big game. Henrik ‘Two Assists’ Sedin wasn’t bad, neither. Heck, nobody was bad, tonight. I’m glad everybody gets some sort of point, because they all deserve it, entertaining me like that. So before people sully up the internet with gripey vibes about ‘bad icing call’ this and ‘Datsyuk out of the lineup that’ and ‘ew, they won the shootout, but that don’t even count, really’, just stop and appraise things as they are for a second. Detroit won an ass-load of hockey for their fans and they’ll likely continue doing so, right on through the springtime. This win by Vancouver should only serve to make things even more exciting should the two titans clash somewhere down the road.

Tagged , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: