Tag Archives: Toronto Maple Leafs

T-bone and the Hockey Doggz Podcast Episode 2: Recap, Mailbag, and America

T-bone and the Hockey Doggz - Moonpie

T-bone and the Hockey Doggz – Moonpie

Hello Everyone!

The stars aligned yesterday and T-bone and the Hockey Doggz were able to confer and discuss the NHL.  While we were talking, T-bone got his wish of a goalie fight and he didn’t even know it.  Can you believe there was a goalie scoring a goal and a goalie fight within 2 weeks of each other?! I can’t! Here’s some other stuff we talked about:

  • Who’s the worst?
  • League leaders
  • Health care for Guamainians
  • Funnest blog online
  • T-bone and the Hockey Doggz Mailbag Reading Time
  • Fighting or not fighting
  • Reflections on Sergei Varlamov, accused felon
  • Predicting the future with hockey cards

So listen to the p-cast, have fun, and try not to pay too much attention to Dad who tries to ruin it.  Follow us on twitter @tbonehockeydogz or send us an e-mail at tboneandthehockeydoggz@gmail.com.  AND you can subscribe to our podcast on iTunes here. WOOOOOOOO!

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T-bone and the Hockey Doggz Podcast: Season 3 Premier!!!!!!!


Yeah! Can you tell how excited we are?! After a long hiatus we’re back with our famous brand of wit and whimsy.  For the first time in a while T-bone, Moonpie, and Huskey made the trek to the podcast studio deep below the Earth and discussed many things related to and about the NHL.  In this episode we discuss this kind of stuff:

  • What’s new for the 2013-2014 season?!
  • Flip-flop ice skates
  • Hockey’s Elder Statesman Jaromir Jagr and his deal with the New Jersey Devil
  • New ideas to supplant the shoot-out – NSFW
  • Our take on the Patrick Roy freak-out
  • Bryzgalov to the Penguins
  • Flyers are so bad
  • T-bone and the Hockey Doggz Tarot Time.
  • Yeah.
  • This:

Hockey Card Tarot Reading

Thanks for listening! We’ll be back with another podcast soon so check back later…when you think there’s been enough time for us to make another podcast. Or you can subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and it’ll show up when it’s ready.  In the meantime, email us at tboneandthehockeydoggz@gmail.com and follow us on twitter @tbonehockeydogz.


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A Freakin’ Weekend to Love Forever

This tape is just Mike Lange calling goals...

If I know that special someone of yours (which I do (don’t ask how (or why))), there’s one thing they’re going to really want for Valentine’s day this year. And that’s seeing you lying on the couch like you’re waiting for Leonardo DiCaprio to come sketch you while watching some rootin’/tootin’ NHL hockey. All weekend long, you should be doing this. For romance’s sake. Get those fires burning and s/he’ll be showering you with kisses quicker than you can say ‘Khabibulin.’ Just make sure to wipe off that Pizza Supreme Dorrito dust from your mouth before they go in for the smooch…

STAGE ONE: 10 February

Dallas Stars, Buffalo Sabres


I'm not bitter, I'm just... just crestfallen.

First things first: NO GOAL. That goal so did not count. Fuck you Brett Hull. Fucking cheat.

Meanwhile, Dallas and Buffalo are both trying to remain relevant, playoff-wise, in their respective conferences. Dallas will have to try a little less hard than Buffalo in that respect, as the Stars sit a mere two points out of an invitation to get swept by Vancouver in the first round, while Buffalo remains ten points back from those scrappy Maple Leafs. If anyone can do it, though, it’s… man, I can’t really say this in good faith anymore, but, uh, I guess it’ll have to be Ryan Miller. Dammit. Well, on the plus side, the American Hero is 4-0-1 with a 0.95 goals-against average and two shutouts in his last five starts. Which would be great if the season were five games long.

BALLPARK ESTIMATE: With coach Lindy Ruff still watching the game from the press box due to some broken ribs (hockey’s such a Ruff ‘n’ tumble sport, even the coaches get hurt!), the Sabres begin to play a more laid-back, fun-lovin’ style of hockey, cuz when papa’s gone, ain’t nobody around to do the spankin’. Guys are gonna get extreme haircuts, smoke cigarettes in the locker room, maybe even invite a girl over to the First Niagara Center or whatever they call that arena these days. It will be fun, sure, but at what cost? In the end, anticipate these boys to become men, and maybe just learn a thing or two along the way. (2012, rated PG-13, 2/5 stars).


STAGE TWO: 11 February

Montreal, Toronto

Well, Scott Gomez scored a goal, so there goes about 80% of the “humor” I had lined up. But why not watch and see if he scores again?

Even though there are better teams playing this Saturday, I’d suggest this game for a couple of reasons. Number one, this is one of the better rivalries in the NHL; number two (haha- made you think ‘number two’), both these teams are vying for a playoff birth; and number three, uh, Don Cherry? What’s on his mind? Find out. Anyhow, Montreal is on a mini-tear of late, which is fitting because they’re kind of mini-team. Toronto, meanwhile, can’t seem to string together a consistent spell of games and look to be trying to get themselves eliminated from the playoffs somewhere around game 79. No matter what, though, this could be the match that determines if Mike Komisarek picked the right team to sign with a couple of years ago.

EDUCATED GUESS: Prior to the start of the game, the Montreal media will reveal that Maple Leaf’s goaltender Jonas “the Monster” Gustavsson earned his nickname not from his large, intimidating physical carriage, but, instead, from his years as a serial killer. I know, I know: Montreal typical.

Seriously, though: what if Gustavsson had this on his mask?

Says the report (from the future):

Gustavsson had a difficult and cruel childhood plagued by abuse and drug use in Sweden. He became a prostitute by the age of thirteen, the same year he became a goalie. He eventually moved to Florida where he began earning a living as a highway prostitute–servicing the desires of semi-truck drivers. In a nine month period between 1989 and 1990, during which Gustavsson had a lesbian relationship with a woman named Selby, he also began murdering his clientele in order to get money without using sex. This turned the tables on a rather common phenomena of goalie highway prostitutes being the victims of serial killers–instead the Monster, himself, carried out the deeds of a cold-blooded killer.

Apparently Charlize Theron played him in some sort of film adaptation.


Philadelphia Flyers, Detroit Red Wings

Love is in the air in Detroit.

Now, honestly, I’ll probably be watching the Capitals and the Rangers this Sunday because that game will be broadcast live on my television/vcr/dvd combo. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out and contact your cable or satellite provider and make sure that you have NBC Sports Network so that you can watch this doozy. That’s right, the Red Wings won’t have Darren McCarty to bail them out of this one (or Garth Snow in goal, for that matter), because this ain’t your granddad’s Detroit squad. Well, some of them are. But gramps never heard of Darren Helm, I bet. These teams are actually kind of similarly built: three solid, skilled forward units (sprinkled with some insane, legendary talent), stodgy and effective defense, and, with Jimmy Howard out, some goalies that might be out-dueled by a roughly-human-sized inanimate object of your choosing. The east/west showdowns are usually pretty wide open (since you don’t really care about giving up a point to somebody not in your conference), so get ready for some one to get Kronwalled, Zolnierczyk’d, or, god forbid, Abdelkadered.

SHOT IN THE DARK: Detroit has only lost two games at home this year (no joke!), so Philly’s gonna have to pull out all the stops to win this one. Their best bet is to hope that a Red Wings player’s undiagnosed heart murmur flairs up in the middle of play, causing the game to be postponed and, hopefully, rescheduled at some other site.

Hey that’s not a prediction at all, just a tasteless Jiri Fischer joke!

You’re in Huskey’s Corner- my corner, my rules!

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2012 Here We Come!

Another year is about to end and the one that’s about to start could be our last!  Oh no!  Ok, probably not, but just in case let’s make this a good one.  I’m talkin’ to you, NHL.

Should be fun!

I’m looking forward to a great 2012 portion of this hockey season, and luckily, things are shaping up in my favor.  The first thing I’m pumped for is a little thing you might have heard about called the Winter Classic.  January 2nd should be pretty awesome because they’re going to be playing hockey outside!  In a baseball park!  And we’re going to be there! Well, outside in the parking lot…tailgating before the game.  But it is going to be awesome!  The best part is T-bone andthe Hockey Doggz are gonna share the experience with you!  But probably the next day…but so what.  Our next podcast will share insider information with you the listener that only we could get our stinky paws on.  Our polls of the fans joining us in the parking lot will ask the tough questions, such as, “Who do you want to win?”, “Are you from the area?”, “Where’s the beer?” and many, many more.  So tune in!

Because, what’s going on here?

The next big event on the NHL calendar is the All-Star game and skills competition.  Now, Huskey and I were discussing this recently and he brought up a good point, “The skills competition will be cool, I don’t really care about the All-Star game.”  At first I scoffed, but then I realized he was right.  The ASG is always pretty boring.  There’s lots of back-and-fourth, end-to-end hockey that’s pretty exciting for the fans of the game (although the pace is slowed due to all the hard partying the night before), as well as a usual plethora of goals which are fun and exciting, until you remember, “Wait, who cares?” The answer there is nobody.  There will be super-sweet 3 on 0 breakaways or a few really awesome saves by the goalie who is trying the hardest, but the ASG is bound be be a bunch of really skilled dudes making incredibly skilled passes to one another that are only happening because the d-men want to see the play pan out just as much as the fans do.  What I’m looking forward to seeing is the skills competition.  I love to see the players perform their craft unimpeded by opposing players.  They can say that Jonathan Toews is one of the premier snipers in the league and that Zdeno Chara has the hardest shot in the NHL, but I want to see them prove it.

The rest of the season is already looking like a doosey. Some of the more favored teams started off slow but things are seemingly coming together to form a vague idea of what the playoffs will look like, provided the Columbus Blue Jackets don’t go on a 30 game win streak.  Which brings me to the next big event of the season, the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  It looks like this year will bring some old faces back into the playoff picture.  Teams like Florida and Toronto in the Eastern Conference and Minnesota and St. Louis in the West are making legitimate efforts to compete for the final W of the season, or at least to get swept in the first round by Boston or Detroit.  With the way the Cup Final went last year and the way the Canucks and the Bruins are playing right now, a another Boston – Vancouver series would be the best sequel since Troll 2 .

Gary Bettman is discussing how much money to give us for naming all 4 of the new conferences right now. Map courtesy billsportsmaps.com

Finally, realignment.  This is going to be the biggest story in the NHL when the ’11-’12 season comes to and end.  It’s going to change the landscape of the game, make team rivalries more heated, and give the fans a chance to see every team at least once.  Realignment is a major shake-up and I can’t wait to see how it will affect the game next year.

Happy New Yearz, y’all!


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It’s (Another) Freakin’ Weekend (Again)!

ignition (remix)

Sing along time!

Ya-hey, my fellow big hockey chieftains. So good of you to stop by and visit this edition of It’s the Freakin’ Weekend!

Feelin’ the winter chillz? What better way to heat things right up by skating around really fast-like on some ice? Not feeling up to that? Then stay home, tune in, and quit your goddamned bellyaching or, so help me God, I’ll turn this blog right back around. Continue reading

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It’s The Freakin’ Weekend

I know you don’t have anything better to do this weekend than sit around and watch the hockeymen go a-chasin’ after pucks. That’s why you’re here at TB&theHDzHQ, you lovable loser. But figuring out which game is right for you can be as difficult and fraught with indecision as trying to settle on the right shampoo. So take my advice, guys:

Friday, December 2:

What City That You Don’t Want to Visit Will Have Tonight’s Winning Hockey Team?

Miller Boys

this blood feud will have to be settled another day

Well, I was ready to get wound up if not outright hyper about Ryan “Gold Medal Winner in our Hearts” Miller coming back tonight against the Red Wings. After three weeks spent recovering from an on-the-job accident with his wife by his side, Ryan is ready to return to action. Hopefully he’s ready to have a save percentage higher than .909, too. But, anyhow, it looks like the Sabres are going to see if Ryan’s up to handling the bench door before they let him try and stop pucks, as “My Name Is Jhonas” Enroth will probably get the start tonight.

CALL ME NASTRADUMUS, ‘CUZ THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN, I PROMISE: Ryan Miller won’t play in the game, but will stick around afterwards to tell the media that he thinks his brother, Detroit winger Drew Miller, is “a complete piece of shit” after a controversial nuggie delivered during pre-game warm-ups.



Saturday, December 3:

Which side are you on?

I’m pretty sure Boston won’t have a problem beating Toronto again, but I’m a little curious to see who Don Cherry wants to win. I mean, what’s his suit gonna be like? Black and gold clash with blue and white, but Don’s such a fashion iconoclast, anything is possible.


And this isn't even the craziest thing Don's ever worn

DARING PREDICTION: Tim Thomas gives up, like, ten goals, proving that, similar to Samson of old, the source of his powers was his mustache.

Sunday, December 4:

I Have to Pick a Game to Talk About.

Bombay & Crew

Maybe you could just rent this instead?

Fuck. Well, uh, I kind of already wrote a thing about watching a boring game on a Sunday night. So maybe you can read that? But if you really want some hockey to keep you company, I guess you could watch the Minnesota Wild bring their pop-guns to Anaheim and fart around. Plus, Bruce Boudreau’s highly-anticipated “flying-v” play could make its debut tonight!

HEY, WOULDN’T IT BE WEIRD IF: After a team trip to Disneyland, the Wild decide to “loosen up” and not play such tight-ass hockey. There’ll be a fun montage and the guys will try on different outfits, get customized Mouse-Ears, and take turns high-fiving Mickey and the gang.

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‘S[p]itty’ Night for Ducks

This shot from last night’s Anaheim Ducks’ 5-2 loss to the Toronto Maple Leafs show’s Jonas Hiller in all his Movember Mo-glory.  Get your fill of this look while you can because Movember is nearly over! The mask is awesome and his ‘stache is…well, I have no room to talk about other people’s flavor savers.  Looks like Hiller is getting ready for next month’s observance of “Spit-cember”.

It's even weirder when you realize the water is going into his mouth.

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